Do i have to pay?

Customer: But if you fix my phone do i have to pay you?

Chinese people are all the same

Chinese customer enter
She: My Friend choose a good offer i want it too.
Me: What's the name of your friend?
She: I don't remeber, all this chinese name are all the same Jin Zin Chang, i recognize only the faces of them

But i have 5€!

Cust: I have 5€!!!
Me: What can i do about it?
Cust: It cost too much!
Me: What?
Cust: My option it cost 14€!
Me: Yes you have that plan for the last year..
Cust: But 5 minutes ago my phone fall on the floor!
Me: I think you will be fine!

Master of the keys!

Customer: I want to buy a tablet but i want to see how i can check my bank balance from it!
Me: Well of course, you just need to go to your bank website and then insert your credentials
Customer: But can you show me now?
Me: Well ok, do you have your credentials?
Customer: No, i want you to give me everything!
Me: Madam i don't have the credentials to your bank account...
Customer: Then why did you told me i could do it? it was a LIE!!

The Invisible Ink

Customer: What is my Password of my iPad?
Me: I don't know madam, maybe you wrote it on a piece of paper?
Customer: Yes!
Me: But this is a white piece of paper with just your your name...
Customer: But is what i put in my iPad box!
Me: But your password isn't written here...
Customer: Why isn't written?

Nobody answer me!

Customer: I call the customer service and no one is answering!
Me: Strange.. let's call together... Dial 177 and put it in Loudspeaker
Phone: Press 1 For your Balance, Press 2 to talk with customer service .. Press..
Me: Ok let's press 2!
Customer press the red button to terminate the phone call instead..
Customer: See? No one answer me!

Into the Wild

Customer: I'm going on holiday to the Mauritius Islands
Me: Lucky you, hope you will have a great Holiday!
Customer: But how much will it cost to call from there?
Me: Very remote island, very expensive calls, it will be around 3€/minute
Customer (Talking to the Partner): Ah no, if is going to be so expensive calling i don't want to go there on holiday!

Why don't i have email

Customer: This phone doesn't work! I can't see my mail!
Me: Why sir?
Customer: See? I press the gmail icon but i don't see any email!
Me: But do you have any email?
Customer: I don't know!
(Of course the solution was simply that he don't have any email!)

I don't want to move my finger

Customer: I bought a new phone and facebook isn't working!
Me: No Madam you are pressing the red Tango icon not the blue facebook!
Customer: But i want facebook!
Me: Then press the blue icon
(Customer keep pressing the red tango icon)
Customer: See??
Me: Madam why did u press again the wrong icon?
Customer: because is what i have under my finger!

Future is Yesterday!

Custmer: Why did I paid the monthly bill in advance? (Showing me a January Bill) Me: But what is written in the bill as paying date? Customer: February! Me: So how is February in Advance compared to January?

I forgot what i forgot

Cust: I forgot my password! can you recover i for me?
Me: yes, you password of what?
Cust: Oh but i don't know!

What do you mean is not prepaid?

Cust: Can i recharge this number 333XXXX ?
Me: No sir this is a contract, not a prepaid.
Custumer look at me with an empty face like i told a child Santa doesnt' exist
Cust: What do you mean is not a prepaid card?
Me: You pay after you make the call, instead to pay first.
Again empty face like a kindgarden child in front of Einstain equations..
Cust: Is it possible??

The lost Bank

Cust: I don't have service! But i lost my Bank Account!
Me: You mean you lost your Account Number?
Cust: No no i lost my Bank Account!
Me: You lost your bank?
Cust; Yes!
Me: Sir your bank is the "Italian PostOffice Bank", you can't loose it..
Cust: But my internet doesn't work!
Me: Still you bank does exist, go there and ask about your account..

santa come for your signal

Customer: Since my neighbor put his Christmas light on his balcony i no longer have signal in my phone..

Spying bank

Cust: Vodafone is spying on me!
Me: Why?
Cust: It keep sending me SMS when i make a payment with my credit card!
Me: I'm sorry i think that's you bank sending the sms..
Cust: No no i ask the bank and they say it's not them!

Incredible coincidence

Cust: I want to recharge just 10€! Last time i recharge my number of 15€ my phone speaker stop working..

Everyone is a customer sometime

Customer: I'm a Lawyer and i want to denounce the company X! I sign a contract for 20€/month and i receive 40€/month!
Me:  What contract did you subscribe?
Customer: I don't know! i didn't read the contract!
Me: Well can you show me the contract?
Customer: The guy who sold me the plan didn't left me a copy!
Me: If i was one of your clients, and i told you i blind sign a contract without reading it and without asking for a written copy, what would you say to me?

Refund a Fax

Cust: Can i send a fax to this number?
Me: Of course is 20 cents
Cust: But i don't know if they really need this fax on the other side, do i get a refund if it was not needed?
Me: Only if you travel back in time..

Drill is power!

Customer enter showing an iPhone open with a drill to remove its battery.
Cust: Yesterday the phone didn't turn on, but i try to open it but the battery was sealed!
Me: But why didn't you try to recharge its battery?
Cust: Because i forgot the charger at Work!

Technology fix everything!

Cust: Hello i need to request a medical prescription for medicine XYZ
Me: Well sir someone would say that smartphone are drugs but i guess you need another kind of store..